The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Randomize
