i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
