so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
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