yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
