I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
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Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
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His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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