Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Still dying that you shit outside
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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