So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
