Everything about him screamed your future.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Randomize
