If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
They should really pass out barf bags in church
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
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