You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
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