what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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