either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
