Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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