Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
