are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Randomize
