mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
