You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize