Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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