It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
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