i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
