I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize