bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Randomize
