i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Randomize
