Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
