I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
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