Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
