I showed him my bush... on skype.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
