Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
