did you get engaged???
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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