North Korea, Best Korea!
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Randomize
