I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Randomize
