she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
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