if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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