He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
they call him Oral-B. enough said
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
