this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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