im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
