dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I wear drunk well.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
