plz talk dirty to me
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
