umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
