My friends, they love my intelligence
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
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