the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
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You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
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