I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize