I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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