I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
bring money and cleavage
is this the sara with the beer cane?
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
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