EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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