Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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