we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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