You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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