Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
