dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
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