I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
