VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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