worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Is it because I queefed?
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
