i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
