weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
