Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
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He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
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The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
my liver is dry heaving
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize