How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
