***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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