Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
Randomize
