and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
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